i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
