Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
