just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
