And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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