I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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