I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So much rum. So many feels.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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