I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
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