You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
