Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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