When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
