i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
