sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
