You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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