very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
