i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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