Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
