Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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