he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
