Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
