no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I forgot how hot balto sounded
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
