Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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