Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Randomize
