I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
it's great music for shaving your balls
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
