If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
