and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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