Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
