Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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