That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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