Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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