It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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