I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
