The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Less talking, more tequila
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
