tonight lets celebrate not being married
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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