idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
