No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
