There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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