A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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