miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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