ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
