how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
