one might say we're banned from that church
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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