shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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