I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just high enough for therapy.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
