Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
