So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
