dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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