i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
