Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
