So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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