It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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